This song was inspired by a Robert Browning poem.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Reflections
I thought you were "the one" but then I saw a discouraging flash of what was inside of you.
So I walked away with tears in my eyes and vowed to never let a beautiful face grab me and lead me to forget the importance of a heart.
Because I want someone who doesn't judge me for who I am on the outside. Like I did with you.
I lay awake so late at night wondering why I was so foolish.
You didn't go out of your way to hurt me. You stayed true to character. I didn't find out what your character was... so in retrospect, I hurt myself.
Usually I can find a song that relates to the situation. The only song I can relate with is silence. The silence intensifies the regret over every mistake I have ever made. It makes me feel negative about everything.
I used to dream about your eyes and the moment I saw them. Now, I don't have the heart to look at anything colored a rich dark brown. It's bittersweet. I know there is some part of me that is still in denial and adores you. So it's hard to turn my back completely.
I used to look at myself in the morning and feel clothed with hope that my dreams may come true. Now I look at that silly, wistful face reflecting back into my eyes and feel bad for her if nothing else.
Each time I fall I think a net will catch me and wrap me up and keep me safe. I have learned from all the bruising falls that I must keep myself safe. I always thought I could depend on someone else. They always let go.
It hurts. It hurts. The emotional wounds are never healing. Maybe that's because I tend to them constantly. If I let them heal naturally with time, I am sure they will fade away, even if ever so slowly. I keep rebandaging, thinking covering them up will speed up the process.
-AK
So I walked away with tears in my eyes and vowed to never let a beautiful face grab me and lead me to forget the importance of a heart.
Because I want someone who doesn't judge me for who I am on the outside. Like I did with you.
I lay awake so late at night wondering why I was so foolish.
You didn't go out of your way to hurt me. You stayed true to character. I didn't find out what your character was... so in retrospect, I hurt myself.
Usually I can find a song that relates to the situation. The only song I can relate with is silence. The silence intensifies the regret over every mistake I have ever made. It makes me feel negative about everything.
I used to dream about your eyes and the moment I saw them. Now, I don't have the heart to look at anything colored a rich dark brown. It's bittersweet. I know there is some part of me that is still in denial and adores you. So it's hard to turn my back completely.
I used to look at myself in the morning and feel clothed with hope that my dreams may come true. Now I look at that silly, wistful face reflecting back into my eyes and feel bad for her if nothing else.
Each time I fall I think a net will catch me and wrap me up and keep me safe. I have learned from all the bruising falls that I must keep myself safe. I always thought I could depend on someone else. They always let go.
It hurts. It hurts. The emotional wounds are never healing. Maybe that's because I tend to them constantly. If I let them heal naturally with time, I am sure they will fade away, even if ever so slowly. I keep rebandaging, thinking covering them up will speed up the process.
-AK
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